Reading and Writing Assignment for 1/7/15 27th class

Mark can't get on the Forum. But  here is his writing assignment, and all I can say is Wow!!

 

If I am on the lonely island and no one with me, I would celebrate for I am free at first. Then, I would get some fresh water by distilling salt water and get some berries from trees. Then I would walk around the island and know more about it. After done that, the evening would be coming. I will put some soft and dry grass on a high rock out of wild animals' reach and sleep on it. On the second day, I would get some wood and make rope to make a bow and some arrows. If I can, I would make a crossbow not a bow. I would also make a sharp and lone spear by a sharp chipped stone and a toughness lone stick. And then I can go hunting some small animals like rabbits and mice and small birds and I can also fight the animals which want to take my things away or do something bad to me. Then I would make a big boat. I would put big animals' leather without the hair on around the wood on the boot. I would also put a waterproof roof on it. Then I would put two oars on the boat, one on the left and one on the right. I would also put enough food and fresh water and a life buoy in it. After finish these works, I would set sail. I will fight the storms, the big waves and the sharks. I will find other islands and visit the people there. Maybe I would make some good friends and we would go to the other side of the sea together.

This is so good, I'm almost speechless. That doesn't happen very often. There are almost no errors in this piece of writing. And the level of detail is  wonderfully specific and imaginative. I am awestruck (filled with admiration). You are starting to write like a native-speaker of English.

I particularly love this sentence: " I will fight the storms, the big waves and the sharks."  Hemingway (Very famous American writer, known for short sentences and adventure stories) could not have said it better. 

If I were all alone on an island like Karana the heroine of Island of the Blue Dolphins, I would find a place to keep myself safe first. I’ll build a house out of rock, and put it in lee. I’ll put clay in the gap of the house and make sure that won’t be rain get in to my house. For my life, I must make weapon to get food and woods. If I was Karana, I’ll take a knife with me all the time (but Karana’s island rules said that women can’t take weapon). Now, the knife finally works. I’ll cut some woods first, which can make a fire to keep me warm. Then, I’ll catch some small animals, such likes rabbits, voles, and fishes. I’ll get in to woods and make a basket out of soft branch, make a bowl out of wood so I can get water from the brook. I’ll carry all of the things back to my house, and on the way back I can pick some mushrooms. I’ll cook on my fire and make everything can be eat. After I finish all of my work, such like finding food, make house and clothes. I’ll tame a red fox. Just like the little prince do in the book ‘Little Prince‘. I’ll also tame an owl. Just like Harry Potter. I’ll feed some animals too, because I really hate lonely. For fun, I’ll try to make some china or pottery.

This is totally wonderful. The way you used specific details really created a vivid picture of you on the island.  And speaking of specific details, where in the world did you learn about "voles." Most Americans never heard of them, although I have way too many in my garden. 

I loved, too, the way you used references to other books to tell the story of what you would do on the island.   Marvelous (fantastic, really great, amazing) work!  

Here is Alice's reply to the assignment:

 

If I were all alone on an island like Karana the heroine of Island of the Blue Dolphins, I would first try to test if this is just a dream. Then, if it’s not, I’ll first get some fresh water and foods, like berries, fruits…… Secondly, I’ll go to the forest to chop some trees and branches, and next I’ll build a little house or just a camp for myself. On the next day, I’ll go around the island to know more about the island. Perhaps I’ll need to make an spear to protect myself. Maybe I can kill some wild animals for lunch and supper. Well of course I wish that one day I can get of the island or maybe awake from the dream.

Alice, You have expressed your thoughts in perfect English. Your use of commas is excellent, and you have made  equally excellent use of transitions to move your reader from one sentence to the next.  But I'm particularly impressed with the way you bring your writing full circle, starting with your wish to test if the experience is a dream and ending with the hope that you might awake from that very same dream. Very nicely done. 

Hello,Laraine

   If I am karana on the island, I will cries and just sit there and don'r know what to do at first. But if I find out that I can't leave the Island ,I think I will Quickly get up and start my life.

  For me, looking for food is a very important thing because if I don't have food, I can't have any force to do other things. (I love eating!) After I get enough food to keep my stomach not empty, I will go and find a place to live in. This place must very big so I can put many things in it like wood, food.......If I have enough I will use pitch to fix its roof to make it not leak.  After I want to go out to find a dog can be my friend. I don't want to make weapons. ( don't want to kill animals because I like animals except bugs. 2 I don't want to make it because I am fear about if the weapons will broken at the important time said in the rules.)  I will watch the sea every day because if eople come here I will go away with them whatever who they are because I think my life is the most thing in the world.I will never go to the sea to look for anothe land because it is very dangerous and I don' t want to die.

I like the attitude here, perhaps because it resembles my own. I would cry first too and then figure out it's a waste of time.  I also share your focus on food.  

Great that you picked up on the word "pitch" from the book and used it correctly. You sound like a person who will, as Mark put it in class today," make do" with what the island offers until you can find a ship to get you out of there.  Me too. Nice work!