Homework Assignment for 4th class

Here's a Sample Introduction for the Next Assignment: 

When Cynthia Kadohata, the author of kira-kira, was growing up, the slogan "Sisterhood is Powerful" was popular among young feminists. Kadohata seems to have taken those words literally,* because the relationship between Katie and Lynn, the two sisters in the novel, plays an important role in the story's development. 

*Please look up literally if the meaning is not clear to you here. We will discuss it in class. Please do the same for feminists if the word does not automatically call up a definition.

With the development of the novel, the relationship between Lynn and Katie, these couple of sister, also develops gradually. The changes showed in subtle ways.

Say, at the beginning, these two sisters got on well with each other, their best friends were actually each other. Because at that time, there were few chances to contact with the outside world, especially, they are two Japanese Americans. So they could just have chat with their sisters so that they were almost ignorant of this world though Lynn, a real genius, who knew everything in the world seemingly. And Katie blind relied on Lynn, she believed everything that Lynn had said, and she decided everything by Lynn’s idea. She just liked Lynn’s shadow.

Everything seems to develop peacefully till Lynn started her school life. With her intelligence, she became a popular girl in the school, although she was a Japanese American girl who would be discriminate by the locals. In this way, Amber was getting to be her good friend. Also, because Lynn accepted new things easily, she learned lots of new things from this modern girl. For an instance, Lynn started to pain her nails with colorful polish. In addition, they always did some odd things together, so that made Katie a little bit uncomfortable. Actually, she didn’t like Amber at all, and also she didn’t want to change herself at all even if she started to go to school after a while. Katie was a total stubborn girl, she always did things in her own way, also, it is hard to influence her, there’s no exception for her parents. But Lynn would like to adjust herself to adapt the environment. So the two sisters neglected each other for a while.

On top of it, the second big event was that Lynn got serious illness, she had both of anemia and lymphoma. Because Lynn’s condition became more and more serious gradually, Katie wasn’t allowed to sleep with Lynn, and even just stayed with Lynn to have a chat also became more and more difficult. And at the same time, Katie’s mother has borne a brother for Katie so that Katie had to babysit his younger brother for her own. So she was no longer to be taken care of all the time. And because of Lynn’s serious illness, Katie was taken by her parent to the plant and hatchery while they were working. She started to know more things about this society, this era, this world. Too many things happened together, and they sneak up without a sign. These all things made her more mature. She started to realize Lynn, actually, cannot know about anything, and also cannot do lots of things and she will feel hopeless sometimes too.

However, I aver that no matter how their personality develop and change, that is good for them. These changes make them grow up, make them consider things as a grown-ups way. Although there was a time that they almost ignored each other and were annoyed to each other, they would get on well again, that is quiet different than before. They had two different distinct personalities, but It does not matter, Because they all knew how to make it to be a perfect mixture. Now, they do become a pair of real sister.

Silver, This is perfectly lovely, and your description of how the sisters are, at first, so close, with Katie being a reflection of Lynn but then are forced to grow apart was really moving.  You also used a very sophisticated writer's device  when you wrote,  Katie "started to know more things about this society, this era, this world." You probably already know that kind of repetition of a verbal structure is called  parallelism, and you have used it not just correctly, but beautifully. I see, too, that you working hard on transitional devices that make it easy for the reader to move smoothly from one paragraph to the next.  Letting the reader know ahead of time where your writing is going to take them will serve you well in and out of school, and I'm glad to see you are working on this. Next step will be to invent some of your own transitional devices.

I thought, too, that your description at the end of how the two sisters, different as they are, managed to mix their personalities to truly embody sisterhood was wonderfully insightful.

As always, it is a pleasure to read your work. Please let me know if you want a more formal analysis based on more academic criteria, or standards, and I will do that and send it to you via e-mail. On a personal level, I can only say that I just loved what you wrote. LMF

“Katie, say ‘kira-kira, kira-kira’” “I loved that word! When I grew older, I used kira-kira to describe everything I liked.” When Katie was really young, Lynn makes small Katie’s world kira-kira by being really nice. When Lynn got illness and felt tired, it was Katie that trying her very best to make Lynn’s life kira-kira.

The book starts with a description that the two sisters, Lynn and Katie, laid on their backs and looked at the stars. Lynn taught Katie to say the word “kira-kira”, which was the first word learned by Katie. Katie trusted Lynn, as she believed Lynn was bravest girl, and also a genius who was omnipotent to help unfold “mysteries” for Katie. Basically, Katie was a loyal follower of Lynn, either in thoughts and behaviors. Katie even somewhat admired Lynn. When Lynn went to school, Katie kept waiting all day for Lynn to come home and then playing with her until bedtime. Lynn always told Katie truths.

From my perspective, this relationship that they cherished each other was really pure and beneficial. More importantly, they seemed to be unselfish during that period. An example would be that they saved allowance for their family’s common new house instead of buying treats.

Katie and Lynn’s relationship started to change with the intruding of Amber, who became Lynn’s best friend. Also, at that point of time, Lynn started to get fatigue easily, but she still helped Katie in some ways. Amber came with the two sisters everywhere and she would like to be a model someday. All winter and spring she and Lynn walked back and forth in the living room with books on their heads. When Katie felt this event pretty ridiculous, looking at Lynn to seek for agreement, Lynn frowned at her. Katie felt a little bit annoying at that time. In the meantime, she got a strange sense when not agreeing with Lynn. Later, Lynn and Amber came for a camping trip to meet boys. When they are invited to a dinner with boys, Katie immediately felt lonely. With the coming of adolescent period, Lynn did not like to be childish, and she would not like to be called “Lynnie” anymore. Finally, when Katie’s true and serious imagination about her boyfriend was recognized as a kidding by Amber and Lynn, Katie felt like her own friend. She became a little bit skeptical and confused of her relationship between Lynn. All in all, Katie would like to remain their former relationship with Lynn, with which she wouldn’t worry too much, but it actually did not go that way because they were all growing up and changing.

After Lynn and Amber’s friendship broke off, Lynn’s illness became increasingly serious and the parents did not allow Sam and Katie to sleep with Lynn in the same room. Katie took care of Lynn, feeding and even chewing livers for Lynn’s anemia. Moreover, Katie forced Lynn to have iron pills. For a moment Katie even got a feeling that she was the older sister and Lynn was just a girl. Being afraid that Lynn might get lonely without accompany with Sam and her, Katie noticed Lynn’s diary, which said that she liked her privacy when kids were out of the room.

It was worth-mentioning that even though their relationship was not as close as before, they kept thinking of others. When they moved to a new house, in which they have to choose where to put each desk. They would both like the other’s desk to be put in the good side. Katie celebrated Halloween with Lynn, who was living in hospital, to make her happy. As Lynn always got obsessed with the ocean, Katie read anything concerned the ocean in the encyclopedia. Katie played hooky to be with Lynn, and even stole nail polish for Lynn, which she wished to have. Katie remained an impression that Lynn was strong and beautiful, but the reality was that she became so pale and feeble. Personally, I think through the process of caring Lynn, Katie gradually became dominant in their relationship. However, Katie remained conscious that Lynn should lead her and Lynn still thought of Katie as a kid.

Fortunately, Lynn became jubilant after they moved to their new house. During a picnic, Sam got trapped in the field. Katie run faster than Lynn but she was still afraid that she was in charge first, which meant she still relied on Lynn. They decided to use the blanket as a gurney and head back home. Lynn panted after their departure and she frequently adjust her grip, which made Sam fall down twice. Finally, Lynn and Sam decided to remain in this area and Lynn asked Katie to look for help. From this event, Katie was further forced to overcome her fear to be alone, and to grow up mentally.

In my point of view, Katie’s life ability was gradually developed during the period that their parents were extremely busy and her sister was in illness. No matter what happened to Lynn, Katie remained helpful and enthusiastic of her, although some slight unhappy occasion may occur. Their relationship of sisterhood developed from reliance and trust, into care and love, which was immersed in their ordinary, but “kira-kira” life. 

Katie and Lynn's relationship is just like a movie. At first, there relationship was close and good;however, when Lynn started meeting Amber, there was tension between their relationship, but at last, they still loved each other.

When Katie and Lynn were still young, they only each other to talk to because they were Japanese, and at time--after World War 2--Japanese people were abominated by the Americans who abhor them for their behaviors during the war. Even though they talked to each other immensely, Katie became ignorant, unlike her smart sister who Katie called ''a genius'':Katie would only absorb the knowledge Lynn told her, and the ramifications of that would be knowing not a considerable amount of knowledge. Despite the not adequate knowledge Katie knew, her relationship with her sister was getting progressively better due to the time they spend with each other.

All of this changed when Katie and Lynn started going to school. Katie's job was to get consistent C+, while her sister, Lynn, needed straight A+. With fantastic grades,Lynn started to be popular, so another popular girl--Amber--started to be friends with her. After they became good friends, they started doing relatively bad things that Lynn would have never done, and this made Katie unhappy because in her eyes, Lynn is the perfect girl, and nothing should change her;consequently, she started to tell Lynn to keep a distance with Amber, but Lynn denied. Lynn had to do a lot to acclimate to the new environment, which she is doing very well currently, so she decided to keep on staying with Amber. This was the turning point of their relationship.

I think it was definitely a detrimental change. Lynn was all Katie had as a friend, but Lynn started to turn worse than before, and this made Katie feel bad. The temporary loss of Lynn also had an adverse on Katie.

   I would like to use the word “Kira-Kira” to describe the relationship between Lynn and Katie when they were young

   In the first several paragraph, the author insert many kinds of story between she and Lynn, it really show the relationship how brilliant obviously, they talked about the future, they laid on the grass and looked at the sky, they told the secret to each other, they were the best couple of sister in the world.

   But the story always would be dramatic, Lynn became mature and thoughtful, but Katie still was a little girl which childish, immature, naive. But Katie doesn’t know Lynn was getting farer and farer from her.

   The appearing of Amber undoubtedly is a big turning point of the relationship between Lynn and Katie. At first, Katie still believe she is the most closing friends to Lynn, actually she wrong, Lynn wanted to have more friends, she need to integrate into her school, she need a circle of friends.

   Lynn play with Amber, study with Amber, do something silly with Amber, walking acted like a model with Amber, those things showed exactly everything was changing.

   Later Katie also got a new friends- Silly. Katie met her in the plant; she was very nice to Katie, gradually, she became a good friends to Katie. They play together, chat together, having picnic together.

I think the author show the relationship between Katei and Lynn when the young is quite important and the changing between of the relationship is good, it makes the story dramatic, it makes the story rise and fall, so it can get more focus of the reader. Obviously, nobody want to read a story which has normal characters, normal plot, normal ending, it doesn’t attraction at all, so I think story should has a turning point.

@Jason

I like, very much, the way you orient, or direct, the reader in each new paragraph with transitional devices such as "In the first several paragraphs," "But," and "Later."  And I think you are absolutely right, the appearance of Amber in the novel is a big turning point in the author's description of the relationship between the two sisters. I also think you are correct to say that Amber plays a huge role in  Lynn's life because Lynn wants to be integrated into the social life of her school.  

I especially like your use of the novel's title kira-kira to describe the early days of the girls' relationship, and for my taste, you could have said a little more about how the title describes the girls' early days.

You did a very nice job of using the text to support what you say about the book, and I enjoyed reading what you wrote. Please let me know if you would like a more academic analysis via e-mail, and I would be happy to do that.   LMF

@ Silver

Your opening is very nice. When writing about a book or an article, opening with a quotation from it is an excellent device to engage the reader. Lovely too is your description of how each sister tries to make the other's world kira-kira.

I also think your second paragraph description of what they initially meant to one another is exactly right, and I especially like your use of the word "pure" to describe it because it does not, at least as Kadohata evokes it, seem to have any negative components, or aspects. 

What you did in the third paragraph is excellent. You make it clear to your reader how the relationship is starting to change as well as who causes the change, in this case, that awful Amber. Overall you do a nice job throughout of guiding the reader's attention and making it easy to move from paragraph to paragraph without my  losing the thread of your thought. 

Your last sentence is spot on in its description of the sisters' relationship, and I especially like how you come full circle to return to your opening point, the importance of "kira-kira" to both the relationship and the novel as a whole, and what you say in that one sentence is a beautiful expression of the novel's theme. This is first rate work.

I will send you a more academic response by tomorrow, mainly to discuss small matters of word choice. In terms of content, you couldn't have done better. LMF

@Jack

I liked the opening and the comparison to the novel being structured like a movie with a nice, neat narrative. I would like to hear, too, if you had a particular movie in mind. 

I think your description of how the relationship starts out solid and then begins to fall apart was exactly right, as was your point about the entry of  Amber being a turning point in the relationship between the two girls. 

Your grasp of English vocabulary never fails to astound me, and you correctly used some very sophisticated language in your writing. Please let me know if you like me to send you a more academic response to your writing, and I will do so, sending it to your e-mail address. You can let me know either via e-mail or here on the forum. 

i‘d like receive it in e-mail, thx!

@Jason, Got it. I should get to it by tomorrow at the latest. Best, Laraine