I love your insight (understanding) of the differences between the two girls. It's absolutely spot on (I hope you remember the meaning of that idiom*) I could not have said it better myself.
I will send you an e-mail going over some issues like subject verb agreement. But where the content is concerned, you could not have done a better job. I am so pleased at how much you wrote and how well you expressed yourself, although I would have liked an introductory statement of the main idea as I asked for in the assignment. But perhaps you can do that next time. For now, you should be very pleased with your excellent understanding of a story written in a language not your own.
* I am sending everyone a few idioms commonly used in school, along with a definition. But for now, they are phrases or statements that are part of a specific language. And they can't be understood realistically. While native speakers grow up with them, non-native speakers often struggle with the meanings because they don't seem to make sense. Spot on, meaning "perfect" was one I introduced in class because I say it so often, And I say it especially often where this class is concerned.